(Finally) making sense of marriage(s)

(Finally) making sense of marriage(s)

This piece by The Atlantic:

How to Save Marriage in America

Traditional matrimony—he brings home the bacon, she cooks it—is dying. But college-educated couples are pointing toward a new model with children at the heart of the union.

…is so kick ass and full of duhisms that I almost did happy dances yesterday on St. Valentine’s Day.

I have a lot more mental rumination over coffee and laundry today, but I would encourage you to read this…before I write a deluge of blog posts on the subject.


What is your favorite quote from this piece?

6 thoughts on “(Finally) making sense of marriage(s)

  1. [I think I first put this comment in the wrong place. Sorry.]

    That was a very interesting article. i think it is right on the nose regarding children, parenting and marriage. I live and work in St. Paul, MN. I see each of the 3 varieties of marriage here. I am concerned about helicopter parenting. (Parents who seem to continually hover above their children.) And I see children who are raising themselves. It’s true that the latter group of children usually have a single parent.

    I don’t know that there is a simple or easy way to encourage marriage and thus, two-parent families. The reality of violent husbands must be taken into account. A higher rate of domestic violence corresponds to the same lower educational achievement that unmarriedness does. And that carries a direct link to the conservative, traditional view of marriage. “A husband has a right to beat his wife.”

    I do feel the most effective way forward has everything to do with economics. Jobs, jobs, jobs! As more people have job security and a paycheck which covers the basic food/shelter/clothing needs, the rate of marriage among the least educated will rise.

    People who have to scrap and claw for enough money to eat, stay warm, and clothe themselves, have very little energy left for a spouse or children. Dire economic distress is a relationship killer.

    The author was correct, as far as he went, but he should have addressed directly addressed poverty and domestic violence. Thanks Tasi, for a very thought-provoking post.


    1. While overly simplistic perhaps, but I think women in egalitarian marriages would most easily weather a divorce should they find themselves in a dangerous situation. Sadly, for women without income, only programs that safeguard shelter and a new life for domestic violence victims will be able to give them another chance. They may also be the least likely to leave.

      While jobs are important, I would add that entrepreneurship is a huge piece of that, especially for women seeking quality of life and time with their children.

      Thanks for commenting!


      1. I feel some disagreement about entrepreneurship. A single woman starting and running her own business isn’t going to have time for anything else. But if minimum wage was $10-11/hour, she might have enough unscheduled time to spend more with her children and perhaps also further her education.

        BTW, I think making education truly affordable is a big part of this too.

        What do you think?


  2. No family can run on a single income of $10-11 an hour. I should know.

    Building a career on entrepreneurship when in a relationship would be the ideal. This is a post about marriage after all, so a woman who is an entrepreneur and making a better income than $10/hr would be better able to weather a divorce.


    1. I agree with what you said. I used $10-11/hr because right now many families are struggling with the $7.25 minimum. So $10-11 would make a significant difference in the paycheck. Personally, I’d like to see the minimum wage doubled, at least.

      Regardless of minimum wage specifics, what I see with my low income clients is that economics play a major role in why they live as they do. If their economic situation improves, so will other areas of their lives. It’s not the only factor, but it is a big one.

      BTW, I’m well familiar with trying to survive on minimum wage myself.


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